Noetic Eye Contact
When I was 9 and 10 years old I used to have a babysitter. Something about her eyes made my heart melt. I knew at that time but I wanted to be with a woman who when I look at, and when she looks back at me, the world disappears. I didn't yet know what sex was. I knew what it felt like to feel her smile merge with her eyes in a moment of noetic transcendence.
To me this became the purpose of life: to find that state with someone and stay in, escaping human condition through such a place, in love, final, emotionally immortal in a mortal body